Just another me (altme) wrote in dearpeer,
Just another me

Advice needed

Anyone have an advice on how to react if the girl they are seeing tells them she has herpes? (and is in meds for it) and that she has had a rather active sexual history?
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Well, I'd do a little research to see if I could contract it even if she's on meds. I'd find out if condom's would be 100% effective in keeping me from getting the disease. If I was really serious about the girl, I'd find out what it means if she ever gets pregnant.

Did SHE tell you she had an active sexual history? If so, is she tellling you that it will continue to be active or that that's why she has herpes.

I'm assuming she told you this before you two have had sex. If so, you must ask yourself why. Could be she's interested in a serious relationship with you and wants you to know all the gory details.

I'd make any decisions about the future based on the above information. And if she told you before you had sex, I'd thank her for her honesty.

So how did YOU react?
To go point by point :)

The chances are rare to catch it if she is on meds. I know her to be on said meds.

I know just about everything there is to know about it now.

She told me about it before sex because she wanted us to be serious, because the guy she caught it from knew and did not tell her and because she cared for me. We have now been dating 6 months and its a very loving relationship.

I decided that, in the end, its a skin desease that is treatable and, given a choice between catching it and being in this relationship I will run the risk.

It is, simply, the most loving relationship I have ever been in.

When she told me we went over some of the details and I thought about it and said that it affected my feelings for her not at all. . . its not like its her fault.

She had been really worried that she would loose me because of it.

She did not.

You are a rare kinda person open minded and level headed. She is so very luck to have found you and you are also very luck for her to be so open with you. Most people are not that open they would rather hide the truth and hope for the best. I have a friend that is gay she is very open and she was afraid to tell me because when she told her family they disowned her. I on the other hand simply said "So. You are still Becky just under stand that I am not gay and we will be fine." She was so shocked that she could not say anything. I hugged her as I had so many times before as nothing had changed between us. She just has a different taste in partner than I do. Sorry this is so long. Carol
I never mind a long comment or a long compliment.

You are very welcome.