Some people walk around always depressed. Others walk around happy. No one really realizes just how crappy I feel. I'm just "quiet" or "mellow". I guess I hide it well.
I'm 22 years old, married and no kids. My father died when I was 7. My mother met someone new after that, and he helped raise me from age 9 until he died when I was 19. I really didn't have time to mourn either. You know, life goes on. work doesn't stop. School doesn't stop. I find myself thinking about them lots, and missing them very much too.
Here's the problem. When anyone acts supportive, has sympathy, or shows concern (strangers and my husband mostly), I start crying like a baby and can't seem to stop. It's a hard to touch wound that just won't heal. I realize it's alot to deal with, but I'm ready to deal. I have dreams where they are not dead anymore, or where they come back to life. Could I STILL be in denial after 15 years? How do I deal with this and become strong again, instead of faking strength all the time? No one even thinks anything is wrong. Somethimes I feel just ready to crumble. I feel it's more that I can handle. Please help.