me (buffychica25) wrote in dearpeer,

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I was just browsing through LJ and I came across this community... It looked interesting and I need some advice, so here I am...
First off, I've always felt as though my job was to make everyone laugh. I was the class clown in high school - I would risk detention, a visit to the office, or even in-school suspension to get my classmates to laugh.
Now, during this past year, I became very fond of my English teacher. She helped me through tons of stuff, including a crazy girl who wanted to kill both her and I. Anyway, she turned out to be the best thing that happened to me. She did everything she could to help me, never letting me settle for less than my best. It was odd though, because just about everyone but me hated her. Only the guys liked her b/c they all thought she was gorgeous.
The second to last day of school, when I was in English, someone told me to do something. I honestly don't remember what it was, but in my desperate attempt to make everyone laugh, I did it and my teacher got very upset with me. She yelled at me and sent me to the office where I was yelled at for another 45 minutes.
I had been planning to stay after on the last day and tell my teacher everything she did for me and how she has inproved my life. But, instead, I found that she was mad at me and wouldn't speak to me. It was as if someone ripped my heart from my chest and danced on it.
I love classical/instrumental music, but I find that it makes me sad and when I get sad I think of how I blew it completely. Now, everything I do, say, hear, or see reminds me of my teacher. My boyfriend (with his excellent advice) says it'll pass, but I don't know that it will.
My question is: What can I do to get my mind off of this? There must be something I can do to get over this and get on with life.
Of course, any other advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
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